The latest channel 4 pitch i have sent to the esteemed corporation that used to do challenging films. Here’s hoping i will get a pilot made.
London is the best city?
It is amusing to read that London is crowned as the best city in the world and judging by the criteria selected seem to have been chosen by people who don’t live in this cultural melting pot.
Only people who actually live in london will experience the following:
Hospitals: Granted that the NHS is better than most countries and free but when I took my sickly child to an A&E outlet that hadn’t been closed down we had to wait 4 hours just to be seen. We even had celebrity mentalist and funny curmudgeon Charlie Brooker in with his equally sickly child waiting for the same amount of time. Only two doctors on call hence the long wiring time…. We were lucky as there was one patient who was waiting for 7 hours.
Safety: London riots may have happened in 2011 but don’t think for one moment that the problem has gone away. The youth are still disaffected as ever and have nothing to do so this will very much come back.
Transport: Even the head of transport has said that London will fall apart in chaotic violence as the transport system can’t cope with so many Londoners. Any given weekend a few of the train lines are closed for repair so we have to seek alternate routes and plan ahead… Mondays? There will invariably be a few lines down due to the fact that works will overshoot. Oh and it’s usually standing room only.
Housing: Face it, Londoners cannot afford to get on the housing ladder and the next generation are going to live a life of renting. Home ownership will be a thing of the past keeping everyone just above the poverty line
If you are rich on the other hand London is the best place to live!
It’s not all complaints as this is still the best place in the world and wouldn’t change all the good things about it like multiculturalism and the arts.
Dada’s Army: A Channel 4 commission Part 2
This is the dada pitch as sent to Ch4 comms.
Now watching the clock like an exciting episode of Countdown for a reply.
Dada’s Army: A Channel 4 commission Part 1
The premise is simple, take a well known show and flip it. This is the teaser poster but i will be posting the proper pitch as sent to the Official Channel 4 commissioning portal.
Let’s see if they would be interested in the idea
BBC Commission for a great show!
With the proliferation of wacky themed shows filling our airwaves there is nothing better than pitching one myself to the BBC.
This one can’t be as bad as Gogglebox or the new one, Gogglebox in the kitchen. And lest we forget the classic fixed rig camera show set in a pub.
One thinks that i may be waiting a long time for them to get back to me.
Dear Morrissey, you need to update your music
Dear Moz
Having listened to your last few songs (or was it albums? Time expands when listening to your output) I have a distinct feeling that your lyrics are still stuck in 1985, a time when Thatcher was bad and Savile was good…. strange how things pan out eh?
What I think you should do to become relevant to a newer generation is to add a few modernisms that the disaffected youth have…
I mean the people in their 40’s who are still disillusioned with Thatcherism (I know, let it go, right?) are fully catered for but the kids nowadays bitch about Playstation (which is a games console) and other accoutrements of a modern connected world. You may not know these novelty items per se but i can be the gatekeeper to these depressed fans because depression sells! Face it that’s what your USP is.
Might I start with this combo of lyrics to as a warm up and then we can go from there.
-Playstation 4/ a digital prayer for the poor.
-The Kindle/ not made of wood and not very good/ digital words scribbled across a grey canvas screen.
-Amazon/ the DotCom that is a consumerist DotCon.
If you don’t want to stretch into such uncharted Morrissey-esque territory (don’t want to hurt the brand, right?) you can still sing about the NHS and the poor because let’s face it, they will never go out of fashion… like flares and sitcoms featuring white teeth twenty somethings.
As an avid follower wearing National Health glasses, free flowing flowers and being picked on (this was only last week I may add) I felt I had to reach out and bring you back from the era of Ted Heath and other similarly suited fat tories.
Down with the establishment and up with the new record deal.
Dick Fatoush sleep video sponsored by Johnny Depp
Proudly sponsored by Johnny Depp, A strangely hypnotic video from Dick Fatoush designed to help put your kids slowly to sleep. Part of the range of self help digital media designed to improve your life in general.
These wordless instructional videos can make you a champion of society no matter what language you speak and remember, Mondays will never be the same after watching this on a constant loop for 20 hours.
Dick Fatoush Dirty Harry 2.0
From the forthcoming short film Dick Fatoush: The Lebanese Detective is the mini trailer of the film within the short.
A sort of lebanese remake of the Clint Eastwood franchise set in London standing in for San Francisco, crime will never look the same again once Dick is on the beat
Bill Oddie BBC Pitch
The BBC bird watching show is popular but very 1950’s and in dire need of updating for a younger generation so what better way is there than pitching this great idea. A human side of the bird watching franchise along the lines of One Dead Every Minute (or whatever it’s called).
To anyone in the know this is a genuine BBC Commissioning window and let’s face it, the idea itself can make the BBC the new Channel 4.
Dick Fatoush Asos advert
The first and truly groundbreaking interactive Asos advert selling non political Lebanese couture.
Just in time for the upcoming Dick Fatoush 2.0 short film