Dear Morrissey, you need to update your music

Dear Moz

Having listened to your last few songs (or was it albums? Time expands when listening to your output) I have a distinct feeling that your lyrics are still stuck in 1985, a time when Thatcher was bad and Savile was good…. strange how things pan out eh?

What I think you should do to become relevant to a newer generation is to add a few modernisms that the disaffected youth have…

I mean the people in their 40’s who are still disillusioned with Thatcherism (I know, let it go, right?) are fully catered for but the kids nowadays bitch about Playstation (which is a games console) and other accoutrements¬†of a modern connected world. You may not know these novelty items per se¬† but i can be the gatekeeper to these depressed fans because depression sells! Face it that’s what your USP is.

Might I start with this combo of lyrics to as a warm up and then we can go from there.

-Playstation 4/ a digital prayer for the poor.

-The Kindle/ not made of wood and not very good/ digital words scribbled across a grey canvas screen.

-Amazon/ the DotCom that is a consumerist DotCon.

If you don’t want to stretch into such uncharted Morrissey-esque territory (don’t want to hurt the brand, right?) you can still sing about the NHS and the poor because let’s face it, they will never go out of fashion… like flares and sitcoms featuring white teeth twenty somethings.

As an avid follower wearing National Health glasses, free flowing flowers and being picked on (this was only last week I may add) I felt I had to reach out and bring you back from the era of Ted Heath and other similarly suited fat tories.

Down with the establishment and up with the new record deal.

admin

comedy website promoting new content/ talent. We have a number of projects in development. Occasionally do some stuff to help cure cancer but it’s not as funny

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *