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Apr 2015 14

So, I decided that my four year old daughter has a career in audio looping for famous films and here she is doing a thoroughly top job on this clip for Die Hard playing Alan Rickman’s character.

AND she says a line in German.

Apr 2015 13

A self reflective Clarkson opinion piece you won’t read in his Sun column :

That’s the thing about public school educated people like me who end up on television. Because of our superior nihilistic education, this gives us an elitist world view on what we call the downtrodden. If you drive anything less than a hot car/ woman (delete as appropriate) you are dead to me.

We tend to sneer at the lower classes, and poke fun at the foreigners because we deludedly think that our audience will find such things funny. Well, the less intelligent do. The reality is that our cars drive the show. What you are actually watching are just a set of struck-it-lucky wide boys who use a politer form of racism coated in humour for our followers. We sit on top of this perch pissing on everyone below while maintaining a world view marred by the self imposed nihilism,  all harking back to our time at those wrenched-from-our-parents boarding schools. Did i mention that we make a LOT of money for the corporation in merchandising sales?

This is the shining example of why, even though the viewing figures are large they are mostly a greying bunch thereby leaving the younger crowd to move online. We never understood all that anyway as we are the old guard free from such changes in the media landscape. All we did was go HD because you demanded it.

Maybe that punch up with my working class producer was a good thing.

Right, off to the pub.

Mar 2015 30

We all know that soaps such as Eastenders have comfortable stereotypes removed from all of reality. A situation created by the White Folks in Power who think will make it easier for the audience to switch off and get into the drama so why not go the whole hog and make it the selling point?  Voila! Here’s one I made that the corporation can use with pride.

Mar 2015 19

GQ magazine controversially voted him as one of the top 20 best dressed people so why not resurrect the career of this nazi fashionista as one of the talent scouts for the top telly series America’s Next Top Model. This left field signing can boost the ratings and give a different spin on what it is to be a model (in more ways than one).

The contestants will need to field strip a rifle after dark as one of the tasks.

Mar 2015 10

We all know certain films are mirror images but doing a plot comparison of Saving Private Ryan and Fury, you can see this is literally the same script rewritten with tanks.

At least the latter doesn’t suffer from the late entry of Matt Damon but funnily enough share a short character in the support cast (Giovanni Ribs vs Shia Labeouf).

Cinema is a strange beast.