Author: admin

Breaking Up With Cliches: The Radio 4 Play

I listen to radio 4 plays on my podcast and 99% of them don’t bear any relation to life around me. They are well written but I personally feel they are created by people who haven’t had real world experiences.

Fine but why do I listen?

Because I write and want to hear what drama plays are being commissioned as Radio 4 is still the gateway for nurturing fresh talent. There is still a distinct lack of diversity for the most part, that is until I listened to  Breaking up with Bradford by Kamaal Kaan which made me slightly annoyed at the opportunities that were missed.

The main Character is a Muslim guy from Bradford and comes back from Cambridge University to see his family but his (white) boyfriend appears wanting to talk to him. The premise is fine and has potential to really be interesting especially with the current climate.

But (and this is my opinion and gut instinct) it comes over as totally inauthentic. This may be based on a true story, I don’t know, but the whole scenario just felt distant and not exactly real. The main character just didn’t feel like he grew up in Bradford.

The main character was not as awkward as one would be when growing up in a close knit community and ‘being different’. The best friend in Bradford was too forgiving when the secret was out.

The intention was all there but it feels that the development process started doing away with real world characters and how they would really react. Romanticised and too conveniently accepting.

I compare this to Hanif Kurieshi who’s books and screenplays are convincing, even the main character in Buddha of Surburbia’s bisexuality is explored.

Also to add, Sathnam Sanghera’s The Boy with the Top Knot as a novel dealing growing up north was amazingly well written and all the characters were relatable.

Researching the writer and he hails from Bradford and this playlooks to be part autobiographical.

Why the stupid whinge on my part? I think the development process at Radio 4 drama unit is not diverse enough in the managerial department otherwise there would be a drive to make this piece more authentic.

At the end of the day the play is better written than anything I will ever do but is an example of diversity within the development process that is lacking.

Apple Products The The Lost Vision

Apple, You are dropping the ball big time, your products are no longer cutting edge and your pricing is now ridiculous for us little guys who want to stay in the Apple ecosystem.

Back when I bought my Powermac G4, the operating system was immense and when Tiger was unleashed we were all excited. Windows platforms were absolute dogshit compared to you guys because there was clueless Balmer in charge, that man had no real vision. Windows XP was no match. In fact Windows Vista was so shite that some companies offered a free downgrade back to XP. OSX Ruled the planet artistically!

Your products have historically been more expensive but felt worth it compared to what we got out of it.

But in the last couple of years things have changed. Nadella is in charge of Microsoft, Windows 10 is actually very good and a lot of people are moving over. The last few iOS upgrades have been a disaster where phones ended up being bricked.

Now with the new MacBook Pro range the pricetag is nothing short of extortionate for us loyal users. I have been looking at the prices and really have to justify if it is worth the investment. Also online there are a lot of complains at the instability of the software and the hardware of these Macbooks and motherboard failures. We are your fans and you are.

Granted your products were more expensive than the rivals but people lapped it up because it was cool and intuitive. People like me bought into the brand and quality but now rather than charging a premium because you are good is getting a bit long in the tooth. I honestly feel you are just being greedy and seeing how far you can push the pricing. Steve Jobs was front and centre and fiercely defended what he did but from Apple it’s just another brand without an identity. Tim Cook may be visibly promoting Apple products but he is nowhere as visible as Jobs was in the same sales capacity. Jobs convinced you Apple was the best. Now your arrogance is assuming we think it’s the best.

Your much vaunted iPhone range which is your cash cow is starting to have the same disillusioned feel to the fans… oh faster, better camera but when was the last real innovation that was the wow factor? , you seen the OnePlus phones? For the price and quality of build that is your competition right there.  Undercutting you and providing quality.

Is it coincidental that this falling out of love with Apple is timed with when Steve Jobs died?

Basically

Apple may have become too bloated and your apparent greed may be clouding your judgement of your fanbase.

What are you going to do to win us back?

Paris Toilet Despatch: The Revolutionary Toilet Holder

After a trip to Paris I made a discovery which, to most, would be merely functional but is in fact as revolutionary as the invention of the motor car or even the debut of the iPhone. Small and simple but can revolutionise the way I do things.

Watch the Paris Toilet Despatch to truly be in awe of the 9th wonder of the world.

Radio 4: In My Bloody Time

A new sketch from Fuzzy Dice Comedy where we emulate black cabbies and listen to Radio 4 for more than 2 hours…. the results will be shocking and questions will definitely be asked in Parliament.

It’s a wonder how people over 75 can listen to this in there living room and survive such a long barrage of audiophile and depressing prose.

Type2 Trainspotting

Let’s face it, we all know that chocolate is as addictive as heroin (stopping just short of using the former as suppositories) so in praise of the bigger budgeted flick that has been released here is a middle class equivalent.
No film permits were issued by Westminster Council to shoot in the W1 area but we it did anyway.

The New Tone Deaf McDonalds Advert Titled Dead Dad

I’m Not Loving’ It

So Soon after the poorly thought out Kendall Jenner Pepsi advert (jeeze! if i tried to give a riot cop a Pepsi my skull would be head caved in before i can say Malcolm X) the Brits have come up with their own tasteless take on pulling the heartstrings.

So basically the premise is that the burgers killed the dad and now the mother wants to kill her child slowly, one artery at a time, as a way of removing any trace of pain. I may be wrong.

I really wanted to reversion the entire advert but knew it would be taken down as fast food outlets have no sense of humour.