Tag: vice magazine

Email Encryption a Go-Go

Now that the unmuzzled Conservative Party have been voted in for a largely uninspiring 2015, they have pushed a plan to combat encryption techniques like Whatsapp, that bad bad thing that allows people to hold secrets.

Secrets that may get you into trouble.

But the recently unveiled and totally revised proposal is to have all passwords to have the password as “Password123” (case sensitive). This process will allow shady spy busters to help stifle the rise in private messaging between whatever wacky names bad guys are in the press this week and a simpler solution to breaking into people’s accounts illegally. This process is also cheaper than using super computers.

The timing couldn’t be better as the general lack of interest in the Edward Snowdon revelations means they can bring electronic communication into an Open Source environment, in fact you probably didn’t even know this was happening.

During a recent parliamentarian speech ahead of the official unveiling, David Cameron was questioned on whether ministers’ email addresses would fall in line with the general public but the reply was a unanimous no, stating clearly that any form of government communication is held in the highest of national security. This legislation, which is being pushed through with no public consultation, will help stem the tide of extremism apparently. Jeremy Hunt waded into the non-furore saying that this would increase the amount of time people talked to each other which was good for social integration but denied that he himself actually talked to people.

The key players in electronic communication, Google and Microsoft, were approached for a comment but declined to do so with a representative stating that this was a great idea and that their data centres would be open to anyone with a key. As this was done by the British team, an element of sarcasm may have been in play as it was signed off with a winky ironic face.

Obviously the only newspaper to carry this as a leader was The Guardian but the outrage was rather muted and the only activism was the 5000 comments left under the article. It’s not that much of an issue as 80% of the population use some variation of passwords set as Password123. The Conservatives are merely bringing consistency across the board. Upon being asked about foreign hackers accessing these intercepts the Conservatives did admit that this idea wasn’t fully thought through but combatting extremists was high priority. If you need to hide anything on an email then you probably shouldn’t be doing it anyway.

Nowadays nobody takes password encryption seriously, right?

Super Hip Vice Magazine Blog

Fuck you that’s my name. Read between the lines and it’s there.

I popped into a trendy cafe that sells niche corn flakes from brands that I have never heard of. This is the kind of sugar rich E laden monstrosity that I need to course through my veins. In this uber cool shit hole  you are able to sit next to dead people watching them mindlessly shit-down-their-gullets with this finely malnutritious meal.

What’s the name of the place? I am not going to tell you because that would be me making you cooler than you are and we wouldn’t that.

After scoffing this trendy poverty cuisine my stomach feels like it has been fingered by special branch and my stools will no doubt be less pipe laden but more like a broken M&M machine plopping out multi coloured branded pebbles.

Late afternoon breakfast done I must find the latest, greatest place nobody has heard of. Inconveniently I went into a crack den thinking it was a Nuveau Riche coffee shop. It was only when I realised that an overdose victim was uncontrollably shining my shoes with his jagged head and I vacated the premises quick sharpish.
I am the self proclaimed mega twat with trousers short enough that people can see my socks. It’s enough to arouse the midget literati.

Those who pretend to read books with all encapsulating titles that Tolstoy would describe as top-10-books-to-read-while-taking-a-shit are dead to me. Such shallow behaviour. Obviously this town used to be cool but nowadays the cool places are hidden in spaces that even Anne Frank would turn her nose up at.

My next adventure awaits.

Vice Magazine Book Review

I was sent a eccentrically written book to proof read which was technically the weirdest thing I have set my eyes on and decided to do a counterculture Vice style review of it. This was the only way I could encapsulate the sheer insane journey that I, as a reader,took. If William S. Burroughs ingested a lethal cocktail of heroin, horse tranc and speed this would be the same outcome.

Read the review.

Junkie Dolls Teaser Poster

Another Junkie Dolls teaser poster of the in-progress demented puppet-centric sitcom aka “Friends-On-Meth” aka The one where they took a lethal cocktail of drugs and lived to tell the tale.