Tag: tom hanks

Worst Cartoon Ever Made

I watch shit films all the time and this gives me a high tolerance of crap cinema. I mean there is always something in a poorly made film to keep the interest but watching Colour City makes me feel like this is the worst film ever with absolutely no redeeming values contained within. This wasn’t even a gift from me to me as I went with my kids to watch it in the cinema.

Plot: a bunch of crayons come alive and go to a parallel dimension where crayons live a normal life…such a terrible premise and should have been aborted. Alas due to a possible creative drought and  the producers having no taste, it was pushed through to production.

My kids enjoyed it but then again they will probably stare at Warhol’s Campbell Soup and just think of dinner and not appreciate art as it stands in the modern world.

But I digress

This film had atrociously poor animation with a crew that I suspect was suffering from Parkinson’s and songs that are truly,truly terrible and unmemorable. Elton John this is NOT! A poor imitation of some television animation from the 60’s, you would think things would have progressed after Bod and Morph but alas not.

Crayon Bollocks (as i have nicknamed it) is truly the Lidl of cinema and I think next time will purely stick to Pixar animation or some branded piece of entertainment.

1 star and a disappointed morning.

Saving Private Ryan vs Fury Plot Line

We all know certain films are mirror images but doing a plot comparison of Saving Private Ryan and Fury, you can see this is literally the same script rewritten with tanks.

At least the latter doesn’t suffer from the late entry of Matt Damon but funnily enough share a short character in the support cast (Giovanni Ribs vs Shia Labeouf).

Cinema is a strange beast.

 

 

Ultimate Nazi Dogging Pitch

The television industry has covered nearly every aspect of the Good War from Dunkirk to D-Day and exhausted nearly every creative angle….

All except for this titillatingly obscure historical novelty.

Motorized German soldiers doing inter-battle kinkiness while dressed in combat gear. Who would have thought?

Re-think what you will of Dogging being a modern day event, this should be the final word in World War 2 documentaries.