Tag: spike lee

Bruce Jenner Easy Diagram

For those that are not aware of the Labia transforming Olympic something-something Bruce Jenner, here is an easy diagram of what’s happening… Also good for showing to dyslexics.

Die Hard Loop Audio

So, I decided that my four year old daughter has a career in audio looping for famous films and here she is doing a thoroughly top job on this clip for Die Hard playing Alan Rickman’s character.

AND she says a line in German.

Dick Fatoush sleep video sponsored by Johnny Depp

Proudly sponsored by Johnny Depp, A strangely hypnotic video from Dick Fatoush designed to help put your kids slowly to sleep. Part of the range of self help digital media designed to improve your life in general.

These wordless instructional videos can make you a champion of society no matter what language you speak and remember, Mondays will never be the same after watching this on a constant loop for 20 hours.

 

Dick Fatoush Dirty Harry 2.0

From the forthcoming short film Dick Fatoush: The Lebanese Detective is the mini trailer of the film within the short.

A sort of lebanese remake of the Clint Eastwood franchise set in London standing in for San Francisco, crime will never look the same again once Dick is on the beat

Bill Oddie BBC Pitch

The BBC bird watching show is popular but very 1950’s and in dire need of updating for a younger generation so what better way is there than pitching this great idea. A human side of the bird watching franchise along the lines of One Dead Every Minute (or whatever it’s called).

To anyone in the know this is a genuine BBC Commissioning window and let’s face it, the idea itself can make the BBC the new Channel 4.

 

Michael Bay Transformers Pitch

In all the wacky ways Hollywood operates, this is how i assume mentalist director Michael Bay got his money to make the deafening lifeless action spectacle that is vehemently anti-art

 

A word for Tommy Robinson and Nick Griffin

Dear Tommy Robinson, Nick Griffin and The Daily Mail

I constantly see you downplaying your racist views by saying you “respect” the Sikhs for what they have done.

Every time someone slings a comment at you, that is your instant reply.

I assume by respect you mean the Sikh military conduct during World War 1 & 2 and not the fine restaurants dotted up and down the city centres that I am sure most of you enjoy after a lager or ten…. Oh, am I stereotyping you?

Let’s all be clear about one thing, you hate immigration and foreign workers and as a son of Sikh migrant workers you essentially hate us. My grandfather served for the British during WW2 but if you saw me on the street, that wouldn’t be taken into account would it? In fact any kind of service my ancestors have done will not be taken into account and if I did bring it up would it make a difference?

Probably not.

If you had a chance, you would turf us out alongside everyone you feel is unfit to live here.

So we are back to the fact that you try to use us to be “less racist”. Well, stop using as a case to be legitimate, it doesn’t work.

 

 

 

OMG My Crazy Life 1 : From Victoria’s Secret Model to Role Model

One area of modern literature that i find fascinating is that curious genre: gosh-aren’t-i-lucky biographies what are on a truly eccentric level.

This particular one about the brazen underbelly of the Victoria’s Secret underbelly tickled me into doing an Audiobook reading on one of the chapters.

Next up is Field Marshall Montgomery’s Military strategy.

 

The road to diversity is still closed: Please take another route

It struck me over the weekend as to one thing that really needs changing for these established UK production companies/ commissioners….

Meetings with the little people! Not just for the exclusivity of the industry talent/ players.

I have spent the last five years emailing/ contacting every conceivable person in the industry for advice, information, even a foot in the door and all of it has come to nothing. If i actually get a reply, it’s some junior giving me some “not ready for primetime” guff and interestingly some of them (when i check their background) have merely done a chintzy media course and have this job straight out of college… hardly a long career in taste-making comedy. Every site says you should approach the producers but my friends and I have done that and still nada. I understand there should be a minimum standard of quality to look for but how can one judge upon an introductory email?

The problem is that unless you are established, nobody wants to give you the time of day, in fact for me, the only person who made the kind effort to meet up (in a Soho Starbucks!) was a feature producer who gave me expert wisdom which i have used. Just to be in their presence was a major achievement and has kept me going in terms of knocking on doors (very Death of a Salesman). I understand there are a large amount of us writers knocking on doors but read the next paragraph as another vision.

Now the flip-side is that a friend’s wife ,who is a writer, was in Los Angeles and ended up having meetings with select industry folk. Simple, no having to hack through the system. Whether anything comes of it is one thing but you get to see a face and talk about the ideas you have. I know the US is a meeting orientated culture and the UK people are busy but really, they should have a culture of setting time aside for meetings to scout new talent. They honestly don’t know how big the talent pool is. I do as i am networked with the most talented people still “hitting the bricks”

Personally as i am a comedy writer i have met indie producer/ directors who have said they will forward me to the established companies (of which i shan’t name!) but i hear nothing back. Even just a sit down chat with someone can be enough to keep the spirits up.

 

 

 

Diversity: The long road to freedom

So, the recent event to address the lack of diversity in media was a psuedo-success judging by the varied voices that were vocal at the current situation. I say pseudo as nothing has been set in concrete.

There were a few suggestions such as setting quotas but these ideas are made by people who have established themselves in media. What i want to express is ideas presented by a person who has tried numerous times to get his projects made and consantly been rebuffed. Essentially an outsider like me.

*disclaimer: This is not a blatant opportunity for me to get my scripts made (though it would be nice!) but a chance to level the playing field for all people*

1- Online: The various TV channels are now experimenting with their online divisions and in the case of Channel 4 they do these showcase opportunities. The latter’s last attempt was a disaster to the community as they ran a scheme called ‘Comedy Blaps ‘ where it was an open call to send in your submissions but the chosen shows were from the establishment (for the most part) like Baby Cow et al. This rendered it a dispiriting waste of time for all those who made the effort. What needs to be done is utilize these digital portals to properly showcase new talent at a fraction of the budget. Please look at the last line as i have worked on things for poverty level prices and even getting a few grand to bring something real will be money better spent.

2- Talent Scouts: I have seen numerous comedy talents in my time who are simply shut out because their face doesn’t fit the same generic people on panel shows. I am not saying put any old person on but pay attention to who can add a little quirkiness. Essentially the talent scouts should be fearless to “think outside the box” and have the backup to do so.

3- Workshops: They don’t work for the most part and it’s essentially there to make the managers sleep well at night. More thought should be made as to the point of direction and outcome for these. No point giving people a training session if it doesn’t lead anywhere.

You can certainly experiment without disrupting the core franchises. If the current mindset was applied 30 years ago there would simply be no Hanif Kureishi and he made some brilliant edgy stuff. The type that will not be made today unless change is made.

That’s it for positive action plans but three is enough right?

As for me i have set up my own website and production company and fighting on my rules (with no money!) in the hope something breaks. I mean look at Spike Lee, he did it by being angry/pushy/ focused and so am i.