Tag: channel 4 comedy

Doll Therapy Trailer

Teaser trailer for my series on emotionally screwed up dolls looking to therapy for their emotional scarred state of mind

Episode 1 features Janice Blackbeard and her sorrowful tale of emotional misfortune

Super Hip Vice Magazine Blog

Fuck you that’s my name. Read between the lines and it’s there.

I popped into a trendy cafe that sells niche corn flakes from brands that I have never heard of. This is the kind of sugar rich E laden monstrosity that I need to course through my veins. In this uber cool shit hole  you are able to sit next to dead people watching them mindlessly shit-down-their-gullets with this finely malnutritious meal.

What’s the name of the place? I am not going to tell you because that would be me making you cooler than you are and we wouldn’t that.

After scoffing this trendy poverty cuisine my stomach feels like it has been fingered by special branch and my stools will no doubt be less pipe laden but more like a broken M&M machine plopping out multi coloured branded pebbles.

Late afternoon breakfast done I must find the latest, greatest place nobody has heard of. Inconveniently I went into a crack den thinking it was a Nuveau Riche coffee shop. It was only when I realised that an overdose victim was uncontrollably shining my shoes with his jagged head and I vacated the premises quick sharpish.
I am the self proclaimed mega twat with trousers short enough that people can see my socks. It’s enough to arouse the midget literati.

Those who pretend to read books with all encapsulating titles that Tolstoy would describe as top-10-books-to-read-while-taking-a-shit are dead to me. Such shallow behaviour. Obviously this town used to be cool but nowadays the cool places are hidden in spaces that even Anne Frank would turn her nose up at.

My next adventure awaits.

Vice Magazine Book Review

I was sent a eccentrically written book to proof read which was technically the weirdest thing I have set my eyes on and decided to do a counterculture Vice style review of it. This was the only way I could encapsulate the sheer insane journey that I, as a reader,took. If William S. Burroughs ingested a lethal cocktail of heroin, horse tranc and speed this would be the same outcome.

Read the review.

Bruce Jenner Easy Diagram

For those that are not aware of the Labia transforming Olympic something-something Bruce Jenner, here is an easy diagram of what’s happening… Also good for showing to dyslexics.

Noel Coward Record Store Day

I am surprised this slice of eccentric Noel Coward oddity wasn’t released for Record Store Day. An undiscovered and some would say completely made up piece of aural entertainment that would make Jack White bid a million dollars for.

William Hill Bookmakers are your Friend 

I am not much of a gambler and the infrequent times I have entered such a dismal palace, the person on the other side cares very little for the customer… much like a bored hooker.

i think this is lying in advertising