Dukes Of Hounslow Sitcom Pitch

Here is the latest idea I am touting around. Simply put it is like Dukes of Hazard but set in the lovely town of Hounslow. Obviously there are no other similarities to that iconic show so i will not have to pay royalties. There is no Rosco P Coltrane, Sexy Denim pants or a car with a stupid name.

There is however petrol headed car action and fast paced dialogue in an urban neighbourhood featuring two Indian lead characters. Think of it as Eastenders twinned with Top Gear and featuring some Asian kids.

 

Quota Films The British Film Industry

So all the rumours of elitism and cronyism within the british film industry are true as per the evidence introduced in the doc I saw at The Prince Charles Cinema recently.

Quota Film’s The British Film Industry: Elitist, Deluded or Dormant is an eye-opening look at this incestuous disease that is deep rooted in the British Film Industry. Let’s be honest it’s like any institution whether it is the Banks or the BBC and the cronyism at the top level keeping the top jobs within their gene pool.

And to think with all this talk of diversity and closing the class divide, the industry is at a low point for people who want an entry. Don’t take my word for it, many news articles are pretty much saying the same thing where the BAME and working class actors/ filmmakers are increasingly shut out. All the advances in the 80’s with Channel 4’s brave agenda have pretty much gone with television preferring safe programming which is why you won’t see many real ground breaking films.

One other not-very-surprising-in-hindsight issue is conflict of interest with some Regional Film Council heads diverting funds into THEIR OWN production companies. Isn’t that a teensy bit illegal? When one has a privileged position they shouldn’t be able to line their own pockets but then again why am I surprised? All these initiatives need overhauling and even with the demise of the Film Council and the BFI taking over, we shall see if they step up to the plate.

As someone who reads a lot about the British Film Industry, this is a fine companion to Icons on Fire: The Decline and Fall of Almost Everybody in the British Film Industry by Alexander Walker where the few people in power totally screwed it for everyone else. Shame really as there is an abundance of talent out there waiting to be recognised. At least for the ones that haven’t hoofed it to the States.

The main reason I found this eye opening and writing from a personal level, I applied to a great many funding bodies over the years and had I known then what I do now I wouldn’t have bothered. What’s the point if the cards are marked against you? What is the real point if the funds are going to their friends? Energies are best spent going after private funds like Kickstarter, especially if you are far from privileged or connected.

I know there are some people who will shout Kidulthood but these are in the minority (pun city!) and more films such as this should be championed. All said and done the shining light in all this (among a slim few) is Warp films making truly British films and creating a filmic legacy that will last years. What is needed is more of that.

The roll call of respected Industry Professionals that have been interviewed is impressive and all speak of the problem and this documentary is one big action plan for change.

Dick Fatoush Dirty Harry 2.0

From the forthcoming short film Dick Fatoush: The Lebanese Detective is the mini trailer of the film within the short.

A sort of lebanese remake of the Clint Eastwood franchise set in London standing in for San Francisco, crime will never look the same again once Dick is on the beat

Virginia Woolf: Mentalist

Take a grim writer and put her in a fish-out-of-water setting and as some Hollywood mentalist would say voila, cinema magic!

This is a Hollywood re-imagining starring crazy-woman Virginia Woolf in a Wall Street setting.

Cocaine fuelled larceny and other tales of ordinary madness.

 

Michael Bay Transformers Pitch

In all the wacky ways Hollywood operates, this is how i assume mentalist director Michael Bay got his money to make the deafening lifeless action spectacle that is vehemently anti-art

 

Drug Deal Disclaimer Short Film

Finally completed and ready for the festival circuit is the short film directed by Sandip Mahal.

What happens when a drug dealer is a bit smart about the job he is in and has to protect himself from unwarranted litigation? 
One particular customer finds out the hard way when his attempt at a quick deal suddenly becomes a battle of wills.

You can watch the film on Vimeo here